Ah, how I wish I had passion...

It has been pretty...weird for the past year. I've graduated, found a job, then found another (but that company sucked big time, and they didn't even care enough to at least say I'm fired, even tho I didn't even get to the work itself). I have also started going psychotherapist (something I should've done a long time ago)

I also made some nice and warm memories. Almost magical. It still hurts that it's over, but these memories still bring me comfort and warmth. I'm so glad that it happened, and so glad to have taken photos. Even if I forget, the photos will remind me of these magical times

I also remembered about some of my old characters (and created a new one), so I plan to draw them aaaand I want to test my new pens. There is one problem tho: I want to draw but... I don't want to. Idk why. I can doodle pretty fine, but I have been trying to make myself draw for months now

I was also diagnosed with mixed anxiety-depressive dosorder. I think I'm starting to get better. I try to think positively and find positive things in something negative, but me wanting to commit suicide didn't dissapear yet. And worst of all, I told every little detail to my mom (and she was basically the starting point for everything) and she didn't even say sorry. When I told her all those things, she just replied with "Stop yelling!". She even tried to hit me. Yikes. I'm glad her friend was here tho. She calmed me down, and I respect her for that. Then, I overheard that mom told her that she is embarassed for my behaviour. I mean...dude, the fuck? And she didn't talk to me for two days. Now that's kinda cringe. Talk about emotional abuse

But anyway, things will get better, or so I hope. I want to make it a reality, and so I will. But my first goal is to move out. I literally can't relax or be at peace here. She killed me and my love for life, but I'll get it back. To those who are reading it right now: daym, how did you even stumble upon this post, let alone read it to the end. Anyway, that's all for now. I'll definitetly post something here in case I actually do draw something. Well then, off I go!